13. Drinking is Dumb

The title here, I’ll confess, is meant to grab your attention. I should retreat quickly – I don’t want to infuriate people and I’d rather the brewing company folks not send a hit man. I stand behind my blunt wording only under the circumstances I’ve set out to address. I think the social drinking that so many college freshmen participate in is stupid because invariably, it leads to getting drunk. Worse yet, there are more than a few students who regularly drink with the intention of getting “s**t-faced” or “f***ed up.” Anyone with a good argument as to how this is even remotely intelligent, please stand. Thank you.

So, yeah, I don’t drink. I actually have never tried beer, or anything else alcoholic for that matter. Does this mean I think anyone who drinks beer is a bad person? Nope – I make a few hundred mistakes every day; the fact that drinking is not a problem for me does not mean I’m any better than someone else. I also do not think there is anything wrong with an adult having a drink or two once in awhile, but that’s not the way college students drink. The approach and attitude are what I find so pointless.

At the University, it becomes obvious every weekend that for many, beer is truly a foundational aspect of the college experience. A huge number of smart, talented students risk their futures on a regular basis. And for what? Because people get tricked into thinking getting drunk the only way to relax, fit in with the crowd, and have fun.

To disagree with this I must be some scrawny little ferret of a kid with windowpane glasses and no friends, right? Otherwise I wouldn’t be opposed to having a good time, because after all the cool kids know the importance of having a good time. Not so fast! I’ll admit that I have never been described as a big guy – this much is beyond argument.

But there end the similarities between myself and my fictitious anti-drinking stereotype. I’m not entirely too boring to have a good time, and I don’t exclude myself from alcohol because of a dweeby “I’m gonna tell on you guys” attitude. I just think drinking is unintelligent, and why would you want to do something you know is dumb?

Now, I must be more careful here. As C.S. Lewis once said, “I think it is a risk to talk about things which are not in my own make-up, because I don’t understand them.” On one hand I agree; I recognize the fact that not everyone has the same outlook and personality I do. In light of this, I need to be careful with my assumptions and wording.

But on the other hand, “drinking is the way to have fun” is such a widespread college fable that I have seen much of it, and most of the causes are general emotions anyone could identify with. So, please forgive my inconsiderate tone and know that I do not mean to be harsh. I doubt if many people will agree with my opinions, but this is not enough reason to steer clear of what is unquestionably an important topic.

It’s clear enough why choosing to drink could seem like an easy decision. Peer pressure, which I hate mentioning but cannot reasonably ignore, is a key factor. Of course, this does not mean peer pressure in the after-school-special “just say no to the creepy kid wearing leather” sense. It means peer pressure in the sense that alcohol is considered a vital part of the college experience by…pretty much everyone.

College has been accessible to the general population for long enough now that when little Billy goes off to school, Pop looks back on his University days with nostalgia and buys a case of brew to get Billy started. Everyone understands that drinking a gallon of beer every weekend is no good, but somewhere along the line we decided that alcohol and college should go hand-in-hand.

Picture a scene I witnessed hours ago: freshman move-in. The weather is hot, the dorms are crowded, and you have never seen more strangers in all your life. But you talk to your roommate and a couple neighbors and maybe a friend from high school. What are their plans for the first night away from home?

Well, one guy has an older brother in the coolest fraternity on campus, and this girl knows a girl whose house will have 4 kegs tonight. And unless you’ve run into one of the 1-in-25 oddballs like me, the other freshmen you talk to have similar plans. There are parties with beer, your parents aren’t around…and even they partied when they were in college. In an immature, instant gratification, self-serving culture, we’re given the impression that losing control is cool.

As a result, many smart, responsible students see no risk or moral reason not to drink. Lots of people do it, only rarely does someone die from it, and if you say or do something stupid you probably won’t remember anyway. If you don’t grow sick of the taste or the crowd noise or the hangovers, eventually you’ll get the attitude that after a tough week of classes, you deserve the calming effects of a drink or two…or thirteen. Custom becomes habit, and your liver pays the price.

By the time you’ve been at school for a weekend or two you realize that “going out” commonly means “going out and getting so drunk that in the morning, I might not remember how I got home.” I know I am conservative by most definitions, but can’t you agree that this is an unhealthy attitude?

In my experience, I haven’t met a college student who drinks and always keeps things under control. Still, it seems like most of the people who drink have themselves convinced it’s not a problem. A typical answer to the question, “are you a partier?” is the half-truth, “I like having a good time, but I don’t get wild or anything.”

Self-control is the reason I’ve never felt tempted to drink, including before my relationship with God developed much. I’m big on control and, well, partying and staying in control are two things that don’t go together. Inability to speak clearly or walk straight or drive safely are more than enough reasons to keep me convinced, and the idea of being drunk to the point of blacking out is just plain scary.

Unfortunately, even the most intelligent drinkers go too far once in awhile. “Pre-game” alcohol consumed before going out impairs thinking, which can quickly lead to drinking more than your body can take. It’s understandable, how you might lose track of how much beer you’ve had even if you didn’t leave home with the intent of getting mindlessly drunk. And the results can be more than ugly.

I’ve seen too many guys wake up asking themselves how far they went with some girl the night before, and what they were thinking to bring her home at all. I’ve heard too many girls laugh as they say, “I got so messed up last night, I have no idea what I did after that party.” It’s genuinely upsetting that so many people find it funny to abandon their decision making abilities for several hours a night, even if it’s ‘only’ two nights a week, three weekends out of the month.

How bright is it to risk going too far with a stranger or getting arrested or stepping off the curb into the front bumper of a speeding semi? This question isn’t asked enough, because we don’t really, truly stop to think about it. At eighteen years old we are capable of so much good, yet we put off being responsible.

We’re bad about pretending we are invincible... even those of us who almost die of alcohol poisoning, or wake up in bed with someone from who-knows-where. The sensible freshman will see such an occurrence as a wake up call, maybe even admit some guilt – but in many cases forgets the whole thing a month later. As teens and as a society we focus so much on excitement that we rarely stop to look at possible consequences. This is a mistake that ought to be considered inexcusable for anyone smart enough to be in college.

What a simple, solid reason for avoiding alcohol: it’s stupid. While I think this is a viable argument in and of itself, as a Christian I’ve got an equally powerful second reason for not drinking. I recognize God as creator of the universe, and believe He made me and has a plan for my life. I’ve met and care about people who agree with this and still have no problem with getting drunk.

They say things like, “God wants us to have fun, doesn’t he?” “after all, it’s not like there’s anything else to do on the weekends,” “there’s no harm in a few beers once and awhile…” so on and so forth. Maybe these people do a better job of staying in control, and drink less often than someone who sees no bigger picture or purpose to life. But as someone who believes that an all-powerful God is always with you, why bother with the issue at all?

Just as we all make mistakes, we all need people who care about us to have courage for addressing them. That is my only intention here. Drinking is no unforgivable sin, and many of the people I know and love struggle with it or have struggled with it in the past. I hope that some small piece of what I have said has been convincing without sounding arrogant. If every friend who disagreed with me on this topic were to read and be offended by my thoughts…I would not be left with many friends.

Regardless of how often or how severely you get drunk, stop to consider why. And yes, I understand the weight of stress. We are bad about trying to control everything and be perfect, but have you thought about the fact that it’s making you self-destruct? If the only way to keep your controlled life from driving you crazy is to go out of control on the weekends, you might want to revise your game plan. Beer and college are a normal combination, but normal does not equal right. God is there. God will fix it. God does not give you a hangover.